how to have anal sex first time
Start fourth dimension bottom tips

Get-go Fourth dimension Bottom: Anal Tips

By Rico Woods

I can remember as a younger gay man being completely consumed with  existence a beginning time bottom. Specifically, I'm talking about knowing how to practice anal. I recollect part of my fascination with the topic was directly linked to my strong demand to please the guys I had sex with.

You see dorsum then, – when I was a beginning time bottom – we didn't refer to coincidental encounters as "hookups" but instead, "tricking".

But I digress.

Anyway, when I was in my early xx'south, there really wasn't a lot of information available about getting f*cked. Certain, you could wait at videos to see how other people got pounded but deep inside, y'all ever knew they were acting.

Today, there'southward plenty of material about gay anal sex out there, including webpages, tutorials and even books. Who would have thought gay acceptance carried such perks?

Still, when you look effectually, much of what'southward on the market has an erotic tone to information technology. I'grand non saying there's anything wrong with this. There's not. Merely if yous are old school like me, it's always nice to get useful advice from someone who has real earth experience.

First Fourth dimension Bottom: Learning from My Mistakes

Tin can I tell yous a secret? When I start started receiving anal, I thought all you had to do was take a dump and wham – you were ready to get plowed.

"Merely lay back and let the guy do his affair," I can remember thinking.

That may sound silly but I'grand sharing this to give you an idea of how ignorant I was.

It was just later one of my commencement boyfriends told me that I "needed to practice a better job cleaning" that I realized I had lots more to learn.

After that non so easy to hear bit of communication, I began a radical quest for noesis on how to properly offset time lesser, including what to exercise for preparation.

I talked to anyone I could about this topic – peculiarly older men who proudly identified as power bottoms.

I learned a lot from these discussions. Probably the biggest take-abroad was that y'all don't have to like getting topped in lodge to be a good lesser.

I also learned that versatility helps when trying to please some other human.

Related: What's the definition of a power bottom?

I'm mentioning these points because information technology seems too many of u.s.a. experience pressured to pick a role and stick with it when it comes to the whole "top or bottom" matter.

Take it from me – that'due south a agglomeration of balderdash-sh*t. I'1000 fairly versatile but lean towards bottom. Merely I know plenty of guys who identify equally exclusive bottoms.

Offset Time Bottom: x Tips

What follows are 10 tips for first time bottom guys interested in anal. All of these suggestions are based on my personal experiences, which you're going to read nigh as we continue along the style.

Hopefully, you will walk away from this page feeling more knowledgeable and empowered. Some people bookmark this to their browser for quick reference. Only sharing this equally a kind of pre-tip before we dive in.

OK, let'due south go through the tips.

10 first time bottom tips
10 First Time Bottom Tips

1. Ask yourself why you lot want to bottom for the kickoff time

Before reaching for whatever guides or videos on how to go f*cked, I encourage you to ask yourself: why you want to take anal sexual practice? Is it because you retrieve it's a must in gild to be gay?

One of my beginning bottoming experiences was painful because I tried to ride a guy that was manner too large. The reason I did it was considering I thought "that'due south what gay men practice." I was totally wrong.

Here are some more thoughts to reflect upon:

  • Some people are built-in natural tops. Others are versatile and notwithstanding others, total bottoms.
  • Have y'all tried topping? Did you similar information technology?
  • Bottom for the right reasons, like being into a guy. Don't practise it because you recall it'due south a requirement to be gay.

2. Get mentally prepared

The old proverb that "sex is all in the mind" really is truthful, particularly for bottoming. If you are newbie, this means information technology's important to prepare yourself mentally before doing anything physically.

Rather than merely laying back and letting your man practice his thing, I have institute it helpful to mentally rehearse the experience before he ever sticks information technology in.

Doing so allows you to conceptualize potential hurting and constitute a pain threshold.

One way to assistance acclimate yourself to having anal sex is to but feel around your anus after cleaning (see tip #3).

Here are some additional thoughts for cocky-exploration equally part of mental rehearsal.

  • Squat downwards in the shower and with a soapy finger, gently explore the lining of your asshole.
  • Lay down on the floor and touch the lining of your anus. If you desire to use a footling lube, that'due south ok (see signal#4). Over the grade of fourth dimension, button your finger inside and experience effectually. Become aware of the different sensations and pleasure points.
  • Consider getting a high quality anal trainer kit  with a practiced silicone based lube as a run up to your beginning fourth dimension experience. The expert affair about the kit is that you lot tin can first off super pocket-sized and graduate to larger sizes. I did this earlier in life and information technology helped. Many beginner bottoms swear by this!
  • Fantasize about the guy you want within of you every bit you masturbate. The play a joke on is to allow yourself to feel him in your mind.

iii. Utilize the anal cleansing tools (Douche)

Once you are mentally ready, you lot need to get physically prepared. This ways taking the time to properly clean yourself out.

I want to spend a few moments on this particular issue because it is of vital importance.

Part I: Nutrition and Having Anal Sex

  • First, if yous are eating a high fiber diet that is conducive to anal sex, the cleaning procedure volition be much easier. I encourage you to read this commodity on anal sex and your digestive system.
  • Second, if you have gastrointestinal bug, preparation becomes even more important. Read this post on constipation and anal.
  • Permit enough time for food to digest before bottoming. In other words, don't invite somebody over to top you if y'all've just got done eating. The reason is your entire digestive system is processing food, which, when receiving anal, can cause bloating, discomfort and gas. Wait at to the lowest degree 4 hours after a repast before allowing anyone within of you.

Part II: Cleaning Your Ass and Anal Sex

      • Consider investing some money in a high quality anal cleanser (aka douche). One of the best ones you lot can buy is the 4 in 1 shower cleaning system. You don't need a lot of h2o pressure with this device. Simply a fiddling warm, soapy H20 and you'll exist amazed how well it removes all of the nasty stuff within of your butt. I personally utilise this one and it has never let me down – not once.
      • If y'all adopt not to utilise a shower organisation, you can get a high quality enema (douche) from Amazon that ships discretely to your home in a non-revealing packet. Once again, warm, soapy water is all that is needed for cleaning yourself out.
      • Ever brand sure that yous launder your anal cleanser out and disinfect it after each utilise.
      • Do not buy saline based enemas unless y'all have a medical reason for doing so. They burn down the hell out of the lining of your anus and tin crusade discomfort when you are existence penetrated. Trust me – I know – I've experienced the painful effects and I wish someone had told me this.
      • Skip the oil based enemas as well. They are messy and can cause stains on your sheets and on yous.
      • Never utilize devices that aren't specifically designed for anal cleansing. This ways empty plastic bottles of soda or "turkey basters". I've tried both and I'm here to tell you they don't work and can lead to serious injury.
      anal douche for gay men

4. Use a loftier quality silicone based lubricant

This bit of advice may seem like common sense but I'm mentioning information technology nonetheless. If you are going to take anal sex, use a silicone based lubricant. This is particularly true if you are adequately new to anal and your hole has never been stretched out.

      • Great brands to purchase at your local drug store or supermarket include Gun Oil or Moisture'due south Platinum (silicone) production.
      • If you are worried about pain (we'll get to that in a bit) y'all can also combine a touch of Clean Streams desensitizing lube. This i contains 2% lidocaine, which acts as a numbing amanuensis. You only need a few drops of this to mix into your silicone lube. Great for anyone adverse to pain.
      • If yous are completely new to anal or not very experienced with bottoming for big men, it may aid to get a lube launcher. You can acquire more about the benefits of these types of helpers by reading a guide on playing with giants!
gun oil lube
Excellent Lube for First Fourth dimension Bottoms

five. Consider using a condom

In that location are a number of reasons you might want to use a condom, especially if information technology volition be your first time. This may seem counterintuitive but permit me explain why.

Condoms are enormously helpful for beginners who are still mastering the art of cleaning themselves out. It takes time and practice to do a good job and then a rubber helps to avoid poop from getting on your man'southward c*ck.

A rubber likewise helps to prevent the spread of STD's. You may want to become f*cked correct abroad but taking a few actress moments to have him sideslip ane on tin avoids the drama of health issues downwards the road.

If you do decide to use a condom, one of the best ones you lot can get for anal is Lifestyle's Sensitive Pre-Lubricated brand. Not simply do these feel very natural for your man, they as well have a trivial bit of lube on them to help with insertion.

If y'all determine against condoms, accept some babe wipes nearby to act every bit a "but in case" for cleaning purposes.

vi. Relax your anal muscles

One of the primary reasons many guys shy away from anal sex activity is because they tin't get past the sensation of feeling like they are going to poop.

If yous have cleaned yourself out right, that simply isn't going to happen. But I'm hither to tell you lot that those showtime few times, it does experience that way.

The mode to motility past this sensation is to do the following. Bear in listen, this ane takes some exercise:

      • Accept a deep jiff every bit he'southward inserting his stick inside of you.
      • Relax your pubococcygeus (PC) muscles and resist the temptation of tightening them upwards. That's why information technology's important to explore your pigsty from tip #ii. Knowing the different muscles of your anus helps a lot when it comes to getting f*ked.

7. Getting the head in

The most difficult function of getting f*cked is getting past the caput. That's because for most guys, the tip of the shaft is going to have a "mushroom" shape.

In my experience, in that location are 2 approaches to assist you motion past this challenge and on to major pleasance.

Option #1:

Starting time out on all fours and allow him go behind yous. Tell him to slowly and gently push it in. You tin even guide him with a free hand. Brand certain he's super lubed up. And it really helps if y'all tin skid on a cock ring and so that he remains completely firm during the procedure.

Option #2:

Lay him down on the bed or the floor. Take a skillful sized portion of lube and utilize to his entire stick with an emphasis on the head. Then, slowly squat on top of his rod until you lot are past the caput.

I don't recommend getting on your back first because you lot won't feel similar you have whatsoever command.

If I haven't mentioned this earlier, I will it now. Sex, (particularly anal), is all in the listen. This means yous need to be role of the process and not play a passive role.

viii. Don't freak out if you experience like you're pooping

At some point while he's topping yous, at that place's a strong possibility that you will feel similar you're going to poop. THIS IS NORMAL. If you have taken and then necessary steps to make clean your anus, yous have nothing to worry about.

To go past this upshot, simply let the thought to be present in your mind, only don't act on it. In time, your fright volition fade away. Call up, the more you freak out about it, the more powerful your anxiety will become. Brand sense?

ix. Stroke your stick

Once you get past the head and "sh*tting fears", you're now set to experience true pleasance. The stimulation you'll feel as he inserts his manhood into you lot can be overwhelming.

That's considering while he'due south stretching out your anal walls, he'south as well stimulating your prostate gland; a walnut sized erogenous heart just beneath your bladder.

Hither are some thoughts:

      • It's OK to touch yourself and fifty-fifty release, peculiarly the get-go couple of times riding a guy.
      • He may desire to stroke you lot but don't let him just however. Well, that is until you gain more feel. Otherwise, yous may shoot sooner than the both of yous want.
      • Don't worry if yous aren't hard when he's within of you. Information technology takes time to go used to a man thrusting in and out. Anxiety, coupled with fear of the unknown, can cause your peen to shrink.

x. If you determine information technology'south not for yous, that's OK

Many guys attempt to brand themselves become bottoms when in fact, they're but not wired that mode. This is why I personally believe it'southward never a adept idea to try and screw a true top.

One of my first relationships concluded because I tried to catechumen my swain from meridian to lesser. Don't ask me why I wanted to do this – I but did. Because of my ignorance, I kept trying to make him "enjoy" something he wasn't capable of.

I'grand not suggesting that y'all shouldn't try to see if you lot are versatile. You lot should. Simply at the stop of the 24-hour interval, after giving information technology a whirl a few times, you lot may determine getting f*cked isn't for you.

That'due south OK – really! In that location'southward goose egg incorrect with this. I don't hateful to belabor this bespeak merely every bit I've mentioned before, we have too many people in our community who think that in social club to be gay, yous accept to know (and like) how to bottom.

Complete BS and don't let anyone tell y'all otherwise.

Having Anal Sex Resource

If yous want to learn more nearly how to have anal sex, there's a very adept book that I'd like to recommend called: How to Bottom Without Pains or Stains past Mike Miller.

As I mentioned earlier, sex, in all of its forms, is in the mind. By properly preparing yourself in advance (mentally and physically) yous'll place yourself in the best position for enjoyment.

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